To say my life has been difficult is an understatement. Let me rewind a little, (or maybe a lot).
I was born into a dysfunctional family and suffered from things no child should ever experience. I believe that this has shaped how I lived my life and it started me on a journey of destruction.
Failed relationships with violent partners, promiscuity, drug and alcohol abuse (and thank god I never became addicted).
By the time I was thirty years old I was living in a women’s refuge with my four children and a hundred miles away from my home town. My mental health was at rock bottom and it felt like I was being held under water and each day I was a struggle to breathe.
I managed to set up a new home and be the best parent I could be at the time. I basically winged it at life.
My mental health was up and own and it really did feel like I was climbing Everest and falling down the other side. I was still forming relationships with the wrong people and still partying hard when I could. However I did make some life long friends who picked me up when I fell flat on my face (sometimes literally).
Finally I met a man, my soul mate, my forever love. I had a fantastic friend who completely got me and liked me just the way I was. But little did I know that within one year I would go through the worst part of my life ever.
The man of my dreams got brain Cancer and died within months of finding out and my best friend died from collapsing in the street. That was the time I gave up on life and hoped and prayed to god for me to die too. I stopped eating and would stay in bed day in and day out. I never got up and got dressed and I never even washed. I was dead inside and a complete mess on the outside. How I actually came through the other side still alive is a miracle in itself.
One day a little voice whispered to me. I barely heard it but it definitely spoke. It said “one step is better than no step at all. Just get out of bed” So I did
I washed and dressed and made it to the kitchen. A kitchen with no food in the cupboards. I ordered groceries and at the same time paid the arrears on my broadband bill to get WiFi back up again. It was move in the right direction but some days it was too hard to get out of bed and there I would stay, putting two fingers up to the world. But making progress I was.
I started googling ways to improve my mental health and come up with ways to come to terms with the deaths of my loved ones. It was on You Tube that I came across a man called Mark Crilley. He was an Anime artist and I found his tutorials simple to follow. Within no time at all I started to feel better within myself. Days would pass were I didn’t think of killing myself. I was coming to terms with the grieving process. I realised that there was nothing I could do about what had happened it was all out of my control.
Art saved my life-and I mean that literally.
My life has changed so much and fast forward to right now I am in the best place I can be. I live in a lovely house and I have become self-employed.
I have turned the tragedies from my past into an opportunity to help other women who are struggling with anxiety and want to take control of their emotions using creative exercises. I love seeing the transformations in these women, from stressed to a woman ready to tackle the world with a positive mindset.
If you are a woman who wants to focus your creativity and in turn tune out external problems outside of your control, then come along to my free Facebook group and we can jump on a call together and put a plan in place.
In the meantime here is a free gift. A simple mandala design for you to colour in and relieve those stresses life throws at us.